Our life as an Air Force Family *Retired*

I am totally beyond exhausted tonight.

DJ woke me up at 2 coughing, and then again at 3 coughing. After the 3 am wake up I could not fall back to sleep at all. By the time I felt like I could go back to sleep it was 5, and well I had to get up at 5:30, and I knew that if I went back to sleep then that I would not want to get up and get ready for work. So right now I am going on 4 hours of sleep, into hour 16 or so, and I have to teach at 8. But it was all good, I was able to finish writing my thank you letters for my interview yesterday and get Kelsey to drop them off at the office this morning for me (within the 24 hour window, thank you very much.)

I have decided that I hate hate hate poinsettas. They are the devils work to destroy the holiday spirit in anyone that works in a nursery center over the holidays! They break super easy, get moldy, and have this disgusting white sap that looks like...

Well use your imagination, I know that you know where I am going with that thought!

Any way, over the last 2 days we have gotten in more of those disgusting red and green plants than I care to think about! What is even worse is most people are not even thinking about getting them yet, so they will not sell for at least a week.

But BONUS! I had taken this weekend as a vacation weekend because I was trying to go to the race. Christmas trees come in on Saturday, so I will miss the BIG event! And to think I was going to volunteer to work this weekend if they needed me to, until we decided to send the girls to Mississippi for the week, so I need my days off in order to drive them up. Of course the rest of the week is wacked, I planned on driving up as soon as I get off work on Tuesday, so that I can go to Jerry's graduation on Wednesday, BUT I have to teach Tuesday night. I am not worried about my Wednesday night shifts because we bought the wireless card, so I should be set there. But I am not sure what to do about the Tuesday night one. I may have to rethink the whole plan, and maybe DJ and I will be the only ones at Jerry's graduation, and we just don't leave here until early Wednesday morning.

I think I scared someone off the other day. I have pretty much kept to myself since we moved here. I was burned so badly when we were all leaving the UK, by people that I thought I knew, that it has made it so hard to accept people for who they are, and to let them into my head, and into who I am. I haven't made a lot of friends here, I don't hang out with people on the weekends or any of that because I haven't felt like I could open myself up to being hurt like that again. I finally opened up to a person here, just talking and what not, but opened up. Then on the phone the other day they were asking me what I had meant by a comment that I made earlier in the day, and I told them that they had to wait because it was a long story, and a story that comes across better if it is told in person. Basically because then I can judge what all I can or can not feel comfortable sharing with the story. Things fell through and the in person conversation didn't get to happen, so the person wanted to hear the story on the phone. So I ended up telling them on the phone, but I didn't get to say everything, or explain everything, I think I got about 5 sentences out truth be told. Which pretty much blew, because I am sure that they want nothing to do with me now over it.

I know its their loss, and I know that there is nothing I can do to change it and if this one thing makes them change their opinion so drastically than did I really want to know them in the first place? But since I was finally opening up to someone outside of family for the first time in 2 years, it sucks.

Back in my hole I go...