A good mix does not make...
I can feel myself slipping back into depression. I haven't felt like this in a couple of years, and I feel myself spiraling and getting worse each day since last Friday.
I no longer want to get up in the mornings.
I no longer want to go to work at Lowes.
I no longer want to teach online. Just the thought of pulling out my headphones in a little bit makes my head hurt.
I no longer want to cook dinner. I don't even want to eat.
I no longer want to deal with the kids. I just want to sleep. I find that I am snapping at them for little things.
I no longer even want to search for a job, I just forced myself to apply to a couple of jobs on the base, but it hurt.
I know I need to snap out of it, but I am still so upset about my observation from last week, and my phone call from Friday that I don't know how to do it.
5 comments:
I'm so sorry, honey. I know what it's like, and in some ways it's worse to feel that black cloud piling up on the horizon than to actually be under it already - the anticipation just sucks.
Wish there was anything I could do to help. Just know I'm thinking of you.
I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I'm pulling for you, and I hope that this..whatever it is...is short-lived.
Hugs!
I'm so sorry to read that you are feeling so down. I know you're going to get through it all though. Many hugs and know that there are lots of us praying for ya and thinking about you.
I refuse to say I'm so sorry. :D
I think you're in a good position to deal with it though, seeing it and recognizing it for what it is.
Do what you need to do to feel better, hun.
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